Thursday, June 30, 2011

Busy days

Much has happened in the past couple weeks. Dwight had a very nice Father's Day, enjoying his children and grandchildren.

Dwight is still on strong antibiotics for a few more days, administered at the end of dialysis. He slowly has come back to almost normal numbers on his levels, a couple are not in acceptable range, one because one of his meds were not given to him while in the hospital. The other because of his poor appetite.

A super highlight was the promotion of our wonderful son in law to Sargent with the Ohio State Patrol. Trooper Henn is now patrolling the roadways around Marysville. See Karin's blog for an excellent sharing of the day and their lives now.

Unfortunately we now have fewer pets, including our beloved dog. Health issues and age took their toll. I continually find myself thinking I need to let the dog out, or feed her, or drop her a sample of human food. DeAnna was a wonderful dog and leaves us all sad.

God is good, and His blessings are greatly appreciated by this wife, mother, grandmother and friend of a few special ladies.

Saturday, June 18, 2011


After waiting out the thunderstorm at the Care Center (as noted by Jackson, the sign says Care Center, not nursing home, so hence forth....) I received a phone call from a JoAnn employee. She told me a good looking man had a delivery for me, where was I? At Speedway taking care of my hungry van.

Diane asked the man to deliver to my home but he refused. And she refused to tell me what it was, only that they would return in the AM.

While helping a customer this morning, a gentleman approached with an arrangement of cut, lilac colored flowers. From my husband, expressing his love for me and thanking me for loving him. Wow. Beautiful. It seems he partnered with our daughters to arrange this surprise for me . Thanks, thanks and thanks.

Visiting this evening he seems more his old self, only mellowed, more gentle, more patient, more thankful. I like all that, but am mostly thankful to still have his smile, to hold his hand, to look into his baby blues, and to kiss him good night.

He has already received several 'Happy Father's Day' greetings, including a balloon from the activities department of the Care Center. He couldn't go to the Father's Day Gala so they brought him and his room mate each a balloon.

Happy Father's Day to all the Dad's stopping by my blog; you are great.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Better, way better.

Dwight better. I was very surprised when he called me after dialysis. By himself. Yesterday he couldn't hold the phone, let alone use it.

He said that about an hour into dialysis he started to feel better. About 2 hours in and allot of things cleared up. He remembers some from yesterday, but not all.

He came back to Mill Run apologizing to everyone.

It was the missing dialysis, the poison in his blood. At the hospital he went four days without and then two days because the nursing home wanted to get him back on their schedule. Bad choice.

But he is mostly back to where he was. I notice little things that aren't right, and he has a fever, again, so we will be watching him closely.

But we are so thankful to the Lord.

I have more to share, but my eyes won't stay open.

Not good

Our life with Dwight continues to resemble a day at an amusement park. But we aren't amused. The roller coaster, the tilt a whirl, and a lot of other crazy rides .

Monday Dwight continued to be confused and his conversation often confused (an amused) us. They did put the ports in and he had his first dialysis in four days. We hoped to see an improvement, but did not.

Tuesday he was very tired and informed me that God was ready for him to come home. Also the Doctors decided he was ready to go back to Mill Run. He saw angels he saw in the room and wait for them to take him to heaven. He told me he wouldn't see another shift change, done at 7 AM and 7 PM. The transfer van came at 5:30, and...

At the nursing home my sweet husband was the worst mentally I have ever seen him. Something definitely happened on the ride. Dwight says he died and they gave him an IV and revived him. He was given no IV. He was just very tired and confused, very confused. He ate very little. He insisted the south won the war. He wanted almost everything taken off his bed table. He was making a flag on it. I am calling it instant dementia.

It was a challenging evening for our family and the Mill Run staff.

If possible, yesterday (Wednesday) was worse. An new drug has been added to calm him when agitated.

Thank you for your continued interest and prayers, they are certainly giving our family added strength. Please hold the grandchildren up in prayer, they so want their grandfather to get better and come home.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Up and Down and Up

Friday and Saturday we continued on a downward spiral. Saturday the Doctors and nurses were quite concerned, to the point of quizzing Dwight (and I) on his DNR. I left for lunch, a nap and off to work not knowing if I would get a phone call of bad news.

The Doctors decided Dwight was sleeping too much because of the pain meds he is on. Also the baclifin, that he has been on for years. They lowered and stopped some of them. A Doctor from his family practice noticed that he hadn't had one of the IV antibiotics since Wednesday and wrote orders for it and another one that he has had in the past.

This morning he is conversing, not quite normal, but understanding our questions and giving good answers, slowly. They are going to replace the dialysis ports tomorrow and do dialysis. Maybe, maybe.....back to Mill Run soon.

I am not going to count any of it as a 'for sure'. I would love it to happen, but I know my husbands health is still percarious and will take one day, one hour at a time. Dwight belongs to the Lord and we both are at peace with whatever the Lord chooses for us.

Thursday, June 9, 2011


I know many of you are checking often for reports on my wonderful husband, and I don't want to let you down. I am writing this with tears clouding my vision. The news is not the best, although there may be good news I am just not realizing yet.

Sunday morning and afternoon were definitely our high spots. Nothing short of a miracle. Even Dwight's Doctor was surprised to find him alive. And he was very much our 'Dwight'. He visited very clearly with Doctors, nurses, two Pastors, all of our family that visited.

Monday he seemed a little down from Sunday, but he had dialysis and that always tires him. Tuesday there were more Doctor's visits than he can remember. Wednesday he had dialysis again and they removed the ports from his chest. The plan is to replace them Monday. Yes, that means four days without dialysis. They will be monitoring his blood very closely.

What is it? Still not totally sure. The infectious disease Doctor isn't convinced on the pneumonia. There is no pinpoint name, just a bad infection. With the ports out (possibly the source of the infection) they hope to 'purify' his blood. More wait and see.

Last night all our children and grandchildren wanted to visit him. He said no, he didn't want them to see him like he was. I am sorry I honored that request because I found him in a worse state today. Much more repeating himself, loss of muscle control (jerking) and dozing off. I let the families know they could come for a short visit. He had two visits from family and I must say he did perk up when the kids were there.

Several of you have expressed concern for me, I do appreciate that. I am more tired than normal, I guess that is how my body/mind copes. I am trying not to let it depress me and am trusting God to do His will. God does have a reason for this, for all of our family. I am praying for each of my children and grandchildren to discover what God is teaching us through this. For all of us to understand God loves us and Papa loves us, no matter how much we don't like this.

So happy to know I have friends who are hanging in with us in support and prayers.

I am typing this outside in the cool breeze of the evening. My flowers look beautiful and fireflies are flitting around in the yard. A few birds are singing their good night song. Our maples have grown and are casting their shadow from the street light. Thank you, Tim, for not listening to me (this time) and creating this little oasis outside my back door.

I am blessed.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

A name--kinda

Not all cultures are finished growing, but the dozen or so Doctors pretty much agree on what Dwight's body is playing host to this time:


a different, nameless kind. #1) it isn't affecting his lungs. No fluid on the lungs, no problems breathing. The spot they found on his lung is not related to it at all. #2) it isn't from any conventional sources of pneumonia. It is probably from the port/catheter they use for his dialysis. They are going to remove the port/catheter, and not replace it for 7 days.

All this is so odd sounding I asked Dwight to repeat it.


Same all three times.

Will any of this change? Maybe.

Will I be surprised? No, and I am sure you won't be either.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Monday -- some changes

Ups and downs. Such has been our life the last 14 months, and the last 60 hours.

Last evening I was not happy with the lack of muscle control I was seeing, nor with Dwight's poor conversation skills. I continued to 'nag' about his IV antibiotics. Finally the nurse checked his chart, and checked, and discovered that the orders written by our Dr at the discharge from ICU weren't in the computer, so drugs had not been delivered. So she said, but Dwight had already had some of his meds, I really think she was having difficulty reading the chart. She was scrolling up and down the chart repeatedly.

This morning, when I called to say good morning Dwight's words were, "I'm in trouble here." Then he dropped the phone. I quickly made coffee, feed the dog, and got presentable. As I was driving I called again, repeatedly, only getting a busy signal. I called the 8th floor desk and was told that Dwight was in dialysis, altho he wasn't supposed to go till 11:00. Back home to more coffee, kittens and a nap.

I have noticed that he responds better to one of the 2 antibiotics than the other.

Doctors and consults all afternoon and still no pinpointed cause or causes.
An new wrinkle, now they want to do an ultrasound of his legs, with dye. A very big NO-NO. Dye is very bad for kidneys.

Supper was very light for Dwight and now he is winding down. Ready for some boring TV and his evening nap. I remember my Dad's excuse for his after supper nap, "So I can sleep better when I go to bed."

We were really hoping that the infection would be identified by now, correct treatment started and return to Mill Run in the near future. But we are waiting.......

So thankful for much better nurses and PSA than last month.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Dwight's 3 AM conversation

This is Dwight's story.

And while he doesn't remember a lot of what happened. And he doesn't remember anything from when his pressures were so low. And he doesn't quite remember the order that things happened. He does have some very pointed and vivid memories. Very vivid.

This is one of those memories.

These are his words.
At about quarter 'til three this morning, I woke up. And I knew that I was approaching a moment of decision. So, I began to pray. I told the Lord that I'm ready to go. You know, Lord, that I have served you well; I have followed your will, and I'm ready to go.

On the other hand, I would like to stay. So, I'm ready to go, and I'm ready to stay. But on the other hand. I would prefer to stay. I would love the chance to love my wife in person for a much longer time than I have. I want to kiss her for a long, long time.

And I want to love my children. Much longer and much better than I have.

And you know, I dearly love my grandchildren. And how I would love to mentor them and teach them some of the tricks of the trade I've learned over the years and give them a head start on a career or just a hobby. And I want to hug my little girls. To hear about all their most recent toys for a long, long, long time.

So Lord, I prefer to stay. If you would grant me my wish, I would be a very grateful man. And I promise to do all of those things to the best of my ability. But if you want me to come home, I'm okay with that, too. It's your choice Lord. You know my wishes, but it is your choice.
According to Dwight, that took about 15 minutes to pray. And around 3 a.m., he started to sweat profusely. And for about the next hour, the nurses and physican care assistants were in his room. By 4 a.m., the fever had broken and I was on the road to recovery.

Dwight said, "So apparently the Lord granted me my desires. And I am here. Back again. Borrowing Susie's blog to thank you for your prayers. For me and for my family."

Saturday, June 4, 2011


Interesting typing in plastic gloves, am sure I will made plenty of typos.

In the ER Dwight's BP and heart rate went quite low, he also was unresponsive. the Dr, who will remain nameless (altho I could call him a few names, including a couple Danish not nice words I know)--decided he needed a drug to stop all Dwight's pain meds from working. Before I could say, excuse me, what are you doing, it was in him.

I can not tell you the horrors we experienced as he instantly went in drug withdraw and full body intensive pain. It was so bad that all the ER personnel came gawking. In the intensive pain and screaming, Dwight managed to pull out the IV they needed to administer more pain meds.

It has been a rough time. We are in ICC. The above mentioned drug has wore off and the pain meds, plus more, are back on line. His BP and heart rate are again low, dangerously low. The same Dr suggested the drug again, it is probably a good thing he was on the other side of the bed and other people were in the room. (I had told at least three times we would NEVER do that to him again.)

We are waiting for the antibiotics to kick in. As it stands right now, it is not the best situation. We are trusting the Lord for healing. We understand that not all healing is on this side of glory. God is our Lord, we are committed to His will and are thankful for His love for us.

Thanks, again to all who care and pray.

ER Again

Rejoicing as Dwight gave me the news Thursday that he is allowed to start getting into his wheelchair a few times a week for half hour at a time. He was quite excited about that.

Then this morning I was woke from my sleep in morning by a nurse from Mill Run saying Dwight was off to ER, again. Low respristory rate, high fever, plus all the other signs of another infection.

That call woke Kristen and Aurora, who were also enjoying a sleep in morning. Then I woke Karin from her sleep in morning to tell her. Then my Mom, who always wants to know all that is going on.

So, here I sit, watching my husband sleep, with no moniters this time. And no testing, yet. At least they aren't treating him as a mental patient. They clearly listened to me. Praying the rest of the stay goes this well.

What is frustrating is that Dwight told the night nurse something was wrong (an agency nurse) and she didn't report to anyone till this morning.

Just letting my friends and family know because we have so many loving and caring family and friends.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Bitter Sweet

May 26th was our 39th Anniversary.

Our second celebrated with two different address.

#38 at Grant Hospital.

#39 at Mill Run Gardens and Care Center.

Last year Dwight was very ill as a result of multiple kidney stones and all the infections attacking his health. We, his family, had unspoken questions and fears. We make it through months of successful and unsuccessful surgeries to remove the stones. The last was January 4th, 12 months after all this started. Dwight has lost at least 140 pounds and is now on dialysis three times a week. His is very weak, but has started some therapy sitting on the edge of his bed. When the bed sore is healed he can get back into his wheelchair and into the therapy room. We know it will be many months before this happens, but are excited to know it is coming. There was a point when we weren't sure....

I took the day off and got dinner from our favorite Chinese take out. Although Dwight's appetite has been poor lately he ate almost all of it. A couple days later I took our new kitten in, who loved all over him. More smiles.

I really am thankful, we could have lost my sweet husband, he was that ill. He knows God has many things for him to do yet for the Kingdom, and prays for opportunities.

Thank you to all of you who pray for him and our family. Also to those who visit, call him or send him cards. These all help lift his spirits.