Where Does My Help From?

I lift my eyes to the hills-

where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord,

the Maker of Heaven and earth.

Psalms 121:1,2

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In the day of my trouble I call to you,

for you will answer me.

Psalms 86:7

***

Yesterday was perhaps the hardest day of my life.

The hospital was releasing Dwight, but he clearly wasn't ready to come home.

Nor was I ready to take care of him, altho my heart strongly disagreed.

I am his wife--I care for him. Period

*

Dwight was given a list of nursing homes offering respite care. A long list.

I did some online comparing on the medicare web site.

Dwight did alot of praying.

To accept that he needed to go to a home,

and to find the right one for him.

*

He was to be transferred at 5 PM.

*

When I was asked to leave his room so they could prepare him for travel

I felt myself losing it.

I wanted to cry. (eventually I did)

I wanted to anyone and everyone to pray, but God forbade me.

He reminded me to rest in Him. He is in control,

"yes, but can't someone else be praying too?"

*

God reminded me again He had it under control, just relax in His wisdom.

At that difficult acceptance my cell phone let me know

I had just received a text.

It was from a wonderful Christian sister who was praying--

at that minute.

Thank you Sharon for your obedience.

*

As we were leaving into rush hour traffic onto

some of the most congested roads

I felt the ok from God to call my Mom.

A short talk offered the reassurance that this was the best,

and then the tears as I confessed my feeling of failure

to care for my husband,

after all it is my job.

*

Arriving almost an hour after we left, we were given

an unbelievable warm welcome.

Had to check to see if Dwight was listed as

royalty somewhere on his paperwork.

*

I just don't have the time right now to tell you every

good thing that happen within the

first 30 minutes of being there.

One wonderful praise is that they promised, and had

delivered a larger bed for him--by bedtime.

*

I left shortly after eating part of his supper for him.

Someone brought him 3 more bowls of jello when they discovered

he liked it and would eat it after not eating for several days.

*

At home, I again had to deal with my emotions,

but realized the quiet house, comfy chair,

Bible and lala medicine would be good for me.

*

The lala medicine is to strong, when I take again I will

cut it in half or even quarters. I was

asleep by 7:30, woke to go to bed and got up at 6:30.

Then took an hour nap.

*

Again--GOD IS GOOD. ALL THE TIME

HE IS IN CONTROL