Dwight's Birthday would be this Thursday. But he doesn't celebrate earthly birthdays any longer.
Last year at this time Dwight was receiving numerous birthday cards each day. They started coming about the 5th of the month. He questioned why he was getting cards so early, and from so many. I did my best to act as if I had no idea. But as the day of his 60th birthday got closer and the daily influx of cards increased I had to confess--I had requested a card shower for him. I had hoped for 60 cards, but he ended up receiving over 120 cards. Even the grandchildren and children of friends got involved, making him wonderful homemade cards. I have them in a fancy bag and will look them over on Thursday.
We involved a couple of aids in the celebration and they worked with Dwight for a couple weeks to practice getting into his wheelchair so he could join us for a birthday dinner. He thought he was surprising us. The grandchildren were wonderfully surprised, oh the looks on their faces. I think some where hoping we could load him up and take him home. They never gave up on that dream.
I am so glad we did that for my wonderful husband. Maybe more for us (me), than him. We had a great day. He loved KFC and cherry pie. We had both. All three kids were there, all the grandchildren. We sang, laughed and loved. It was a great time. We had birthday cake that we shared with anyone from Mill Run who wanted a piece. He tired and returned to his bed in less than an hour. That was the last time any of us saw him in his wheelchair, although those same two girls got him up a couple of other times to 'inspect' the new addition to Mill Run.
We will miss celebrating Papa's birthday this year. Our terrific son-in-law, Tim, shares Dwight's birthday and who loved Dwight dearly is having a hard time as his birthday approaches. We have decided to have a dinner celebrating Papa's love and influence on all of us.
Monday, September 17, 2012
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Headstone
Being just over half way through my month off from work, I realize that I am not going to come even close to completing my list--like about 10 months off.
Many of the days have been a complete wash. I am not happy about that, but also seem to be powerless to correct it, I am told by many who have been there and some still there, that this is a normal part of grief. Don't like it. What it to stop, so far the energy to get out of it hasn't appear. Is there an energy fairy?
Today I did get one major item taken care of. The headstone. I called the place that the Shirey/Elliott family usually uses. I was not at all impressed with the phone conversation, hung up frustrated and felt like I had been spoken to in a condescending manner. There were a couple of questions I asked that he should have been able to pull up on the computer, if he turned it on and used it. He said he would call back, he never did. Till this morning while I was driving, in response the message I left him, "I found someone else and will be using them." Said he didn't understand it, oh, and he did find an answer to one of the questions I asked. Too late.
I called the funeral home that normally handles all the Shirey funerals, the entire phone call was excellent. All my questions were answered while on the phone. And they do headstones. I drove out today and met with John. He patiently showed me several options, didn't try to talk me into or out of anything.
I could go on and on, but I won't bore you. I will say that there will be a lighthouse, with the light beam on it. Dwight loved lighthouses. He had good sized collection and we had visited several, including climbing up two of them. The trademark, so to speak, of Ridge Road Church (that Dwight pastored) was a lighthouse with the light beam. Our name, Shirey will be in the beam. Can't thank God enough that when I asked if they ever did lighthouses that John went digging through several books (not the books he had first brought to the table) and found me a half dozen to pick from. They are also able to put our wedding date on there, which is important to me.
I took my little dog with me so that she wouldn't have to be shut up in the kitchen all day. She was very good, slept allot, including in the office. She didn't enjoy the stop, go, stop, creep, stop, creep, stop.....traffic coming home. She came out of her crate, sat on my lap and pleased the people in the next lane. Babies and puppies are such attention getters.
Couple more
Many of the days have been a complete wash. I am not happy about that, but also seem to be powerless to correct it, I am told by many who have been there and some still there, that this is a normal part of grief. Don't like it. What it to stop, so far the energy to get out of it hasn't appear. Is there an energy fairy?
Today I did get one major item taken care of. The headstone. I called the place that the Shirey/Elliott family usually uses. I was not at all impressed with the phone conversation, hung up frustrated and felt like I had been spoken to in a condescending manner. There were a couple of questions I asked that he should have been able to pull up on the computer, if he turned it on and used it. He said he would call back, he never did. Till this morning while I was driving, in response the message I left him, "I found someone else and will be using them." Said he didn't understand it, oh, and he did find an answer to one of the questions I asked. Too late.
I called the funeral home that normally handles all the Shirey funerals, the entire phone call was excellent. All my questions were answered while on the phone. And they do headstones. I drove out today and met with John. He patiently showed me several options, didn't try to talk me into or out of anything.
I could go on and on, but I won't bore you. I will say that there will be a lighthouse, with the light beam on it. Dwight loved lighthouses. He had good sized collection and we had visited several, including climbing up two of them. The trademark, so to speak, of Ridge Road Church (that Dwight pastored) was a lighthouse with the light beam. Our name, Shirey will be in the beam. Can't thank God enough that when I asked if they ever did lighthouses that John went digging through several books (not the books he had first brought to the table) and found me a half dozen to pick from. They are also able to put our wedding date on there, which is important to me.
I took my little dog with me so that she wouldn't have to be shut up in the kitchen all day. She was very good, slept allot, including in the office. She didn't enjoy the stop, go, stop, creep, stop, creep, stop.....traffic coming home. She came out of her crate, sat on my lap and pleased the people in the next lane. Babies and puppies are such attention getters.
Couple more
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Time Out
Really, time off.
Side bar first, as I sat to write this I decided to check on a couple blogs first. Got to one and no further as I am sitting here with tears running down my face--I read my son, Sam's blog where he shared his day and his missing of Dwight. There is a link to his blog on the right.
I have requested a month off from work to get many things done. A list resides in my mind, I will get it (or them) on paper soon. Number one is just time alone to process the last two years. The kidney failure and the life in the nursing home, and lots of hospital stays.
I will finally get to Pennsylvania and order our headstone. And, if I can find it, visit the Shirey Cemetery. I sprinkle Dwight's ashes where he requested. I will visit my family in Falconer, New York. And lots more, maybe I won't get everything done.....
But I really need some time off---alone. Maybe a few days at Lake Erie, one of OUR favorites.
Side bar first, as I sat to write this I decided to check on a couple blogs first. Got to one and no further as I am sitting here with tears running down my face--I read my son, Sam's blog where he shared his day and his missing of Dwight. There is a link to his blog on the right.
I have requested a month off from work to get many things done. A list resides in my mind, I will get it (or them) on paper soon. Number one is just time alone to process the last two years. The kidney failure and the life in the nursing home, and lots of hospital stays.
I will finally get to Pennsylvania and order our headstone. And, if I can find it, visit the Shirey Cemetery. I sprinkle Dwight's ashes where he requested. I will visit my family in Falconer, New York. And lots more, maybe I won't get everything done.....
But I really need some time off---alone. Maybe a few days at Lake Erie, one of OUR favorites.
Monday, July 2, 2012
Fireworks
Dwight and I have always enjoyed fireworks. I think the only year we didn't attend was 1976. (I know, of all years!). He had a weekend full of concerts so Sam--11 months old, and I spent the weekend with my family in New York.
But we never missed another year that I can recall. The first year after he became wheelchair bound, we still went to the fireworks at Eastland Mall in Niles, Oh. But after moving to Columbus we no longer 'went' to fireworks, but continued a tradition we had started somewhere along the line--we watched the fireworks from Boston, complete with the Boston Pops--one of our favorites.
I was hoping to get to fireworks this year, but I work July 3rd, when Columbus has Red White and Boom--a bit crowded for me. I have heard that Grove City has terrific fireworks at Beluah Park, more small town, my preference, but alas they were Saturday night. Yeah, I worked.
I was lamenting my poor plight to the Mom of some my favorite teens at Church, hoping for some pity when low and behold I was invited on a date.
It seems this wonderful mother is going to be 'familess' on the 4th. So she and I are going to attend the celebration together. I won't mention her name or where we are going cuz we have decided we are going to hold hands and skip through the park together.
Can't wait.
But we never missed another year that I can recall. The first year after he became wheelchair bound, we still went to the fireworks at Eastland Mall in Niles, Oh. But after moving to Columbus we no longer 'went' to fireworks, but continued a tradition we had started somewhere along the line--we watched the fireworks from Boston, complete with the Boston Pops--one of our favorites.
I was hoping to get to fireworks this year, but I work July 3rd, when Columbus has Red White and Boom--a bit crowded for me. I have heard that Grove City has terrific fireworks at Beluah Park, more small town, my preference, but alas they were Saturday night. Yeah, I worked.
I was lamenting my poor plight to the Mom of some my favorite teens at Church, hoping for some pity when low and behold I was invited on a date.
It seems this wonderful mother is going to be 'familess' on the 4th. So she and I are going to attend the celebration together. I won't mention her name or where we are going cuz we have decided we are going to hold hands and skip through the park together.
Can't wait.
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Times of Tears
To say it has been easy would be a lie. There have been moments of tears, some I have forced down, some I have allowed. The time and place of course play alot into it. Today a friend shared the following song with me, and I allowed the tears, soft and gentle. This song says it quite well, enjoy, have a tissue handy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMhrA1Lr8I4&sns=fb
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Heroes of the Faith
The first time I noticed my husband he was playing Roll Jordan Roll on his trombone at the assembly welcoming freshman and returning students to the campus of, at that time, Eastern Pilgrim College. He was really rocking it, pushing the limits at a very conservative college.
Throughout our entire courtship and marriage my husband has been involved in some type of music in the Church. Solos, duets, quartets, worship leader....and his trombone.
Since his injury that planted him in the wheelchair we have become owners of many Gaither Homecoming videos. Often, in the darkness that surrounded Dwight in 2002, I would put one on and the Holy Spirit used the music to lift him up.
Since he has been at Mill Run I have added to our collection, including Red Rock. He had written in his notebook a number of songs he wanted for his funeral, (13 in all!!!) including a song called Heroes of the Faith from this DVD. I was not familiar with song until till tonight. I must admit this an excellent song for Dwight and I would like to share it with you here...
http://www.youtube.com/embed/OWb3j8EBV0k
Obit:
Throughout our entire courtship and marriage my husband has been involved in some type of music in the Church. Solos, duets, quartets, worship leader....and his trombone.
Since his injury that planted him in the wheelchair we have become owners of many Gaither Homecoming videos. Often, in the darkness that surrounded Dwight in 2002, I would put one on and the Holy Spirit used the music to lift him up.
Since he has been at Mill Run I have added to our collection, including Red Rock. He had written in his notebook a number of songs he wanted for his funeral, (13 in all!!!) including a song called Heroes of the Faith from this DVD. I was not familiar with song until till tonight. I must admit this an excellent song for Dwight and I would like to share it with you here...
http://www.youtube.com/embed/OWb3j8EBV0k
Obit:
Dwight
Elliott Shirey, 60, passed May 8, 2012
at Mill Run Gardens and Care Center, where he has been a resident for the past
two years. Dwight and his bride, Susie
Thompson Shirey celebrate their 40th anniversary this month. They have three children, Samuel-Troy E
Shirey of Lisbon, OH; Karin Shirey Henn
(Timothy) of Galloway Oh; and Kristen Shirey of Columbus, OH. He is the proud grandfather of five
grandchildren: Isaiah, Isaac and Esther-Faith Henn and Jackson and Aurora
Deubner. He is preceded in death by his
parents Ralph C and Lilias Elliott Shirey of Latrobe Pa and his brother, Calvin
T Shirey of Salt Lake City, UT. Dwight
graduated from Greater Latrobe Area High School and United Wesleyan
College. Dwight has been active in the
Church of the Nazarene for 40 years as Song Evangelist, Minister of Music and
an Ordained Elder, Pastoring in Warren Oh.
He is a member of Shepherd Church of the Nazarene, Gahanna Oh. In lieu
of flowers, the family has requested giving to the Mount Vernon Nazarene
University Music Department Scholarship Fund in Memory of Dwight E Shirey. (800
Martinsburg Rd, Mount Vernon, Oh 43050)
A Memorial
Service will be held at Shepherd Church of the Nazarene on May 18, 2012 at
11:00 AM. (425 South Hamilton Rd., Gahanna, OH 43230).
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Sleeping
Dwight is sleeping a lot, rarely waking. It is a pleasure to watch him open his eyes and slightly smile when a staff member stops in and speaks his name. He is definitely well loved here at Mill Run and Gardens. Staff from the office, nurses, aids, kitchen workers, cleaning ladies and one of the gentlemen from maintenance stop in often. Some are very sad that Dwight will be leaving us soon. Those who don't understand the joy and healing he will have in Heaven seem to be having the hardest time. Sunday he tried to explain it to an aid. As she says, "He let me have it."
Thank you to all who are praying for him, myself, the children and grandchildren. I ask that you especially pray for our precious grandchildren, that they will understand Papa is better and waiting for them. We have purchased some excellent books to help them. Randy Alcorn has one called 'Heaven for Kids'. A kids version of a great book for adults, "Heaven." It is good reading for all at anytime of your life.
Thank you to all who are praying for him, myself, the children and grandchildren. I ask that you especially pray for our precious grandchildren, that they will understand Papa is better and waiting for them. We have purchased some excellent books to help them. Randy Alcorn has one called 'Heaven for Kids'. A kids version of a great book for adults, "Heaven." It is good reading for all at anytime of your life.
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