Times of Tears

To say it has been easy would be a lie.  There have been moments of tears, some I have forced down, some I have allowed.  The time and place of course play alot into it.  Today a friend shared the following song with me, and I allowed the tears, soft and gentle.  This song says it quite well, enjoy, have a tissue handy:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMhrA1Lr8I4&sns=fb

Heroes of the Faith

The first time I noticed my husband he was playing Roll Jordan Roll on his trombone at the assembly welcoming freshman and returning students to the campus of, at that time, Eastern Pilgrim College.  He was really rocking it, pushing the limits at a very conservative college.

Throughout our entire courtship and marriage my husband has been involved in some type of music in the Church. Solos, duets, quartets, worship leader....and his trombone.

Since his injury that planted him in the wheelchair we have become owners of many Gaither Homecoming videos.  Often, in the darkness that surrounded Dwight in 2002, I would put one on and the Holy Spirit used the music to lift him up. 

Since he has been at Mill Run I have added to our collection, including Red Rock.  He had written in his notebook a number of songs he wanted for his funeral, (13 in all!!!) including a song called Heroes of the Faith from this DVD.  I was not familiar with song until till tonight.  I must admit this an excellent song for Dwight and I would like to share it with you here...

http://www.youtube.com/embed/OWb3j8EBV0k

 Obit:

Dwight Elliott Shirey, 60, passed May   8, 2012 at Mill Run Gardens and Care Center, where he has been a resident for the past two years.  Dwight and his bride, Susie Thompson Shirey celebrate their 40th anniversary this month.    They have three children, Samuel-Troy E Shirey of Lisbon, OH;  Karin Shirey Henn (Timothy) of Galloway Oh; and Kristen Shirey of Columbus, OH.  He is the proud grandfather of five grandchildren: Isaiah, Isaac and Esther-Faith Henn and Jackson and Aurora Deubner.   He is preceded in death by his parents Ralph C and Lilias Elliott Shirey of Latrobe Pa and his brother, Calvin T Shirey of Salt Lake City, UT.  Dwight graduated from Greater Latrobe Area High School and United Wesleyan College.  Dwight has been active in the Church of the Nazarene for 40 years as Song Evangelist, Minister of Music and an Ordained Elder, Pastoring in Warren Oh.  He is a member of Shepherd Church of the Nazarene, Gahanna Oh. In lieu of flowers, the family has requested giving to the Mount Vernon Nazarene University Music Department Scholarship Fund in Memory of Dwight E Shirey. (800 Martinsburg Rd, Mount Vernon, Oh 43050)

A Memorial Service will be held at Shepherd Church of the Nazarene on May 18, 2012 at 11:00 AM.  (425 South Hamilton Rd.,  Gahanna, OH 43230).

Sleeping

Dwight is sleeping a lot, rarely waking.  It is a pleasure to watch him open his eyes and slightly smile when a staff member stops in and speaks his name. He is definitely well loved here at Mill Run and Gardens.  Staff from the office, nurses, aids, kitchen workers, cleaning ladies and one of the gentlemen from maintenance stop in often.  Some are very sad that Dwight will be leaving us soon.  Those who don't understand the joy and healing he will have in Heaven seem to be having the hardest time.  Sunday he tried to explain it to an aid.  As she says, "He let me have it." 

Thank you to all who are praying for him, myself, the children and grandchildren.  I ask that you especially pray for our precious grandchildren, that they will understand Papa is better and waiting for them.  We have purchased some excellent books to help them.  Randy Alcorn has one called 'Heaven for Kids'.  A kids version of a great book for adults, "Heaven."  It is good reading for all at anytime of your life.

What were they thinking?

Of course no one will own up to being the one responsible, but when I walked to Dwight's room I thought I was in a Swedish sauna.  It was so hot I am surprised my glasses didn't fog up.  'Someone' had turned the heat on full bore, could not get it any higher.  And they had Dwight covered with a sheet and two blankets.  Dwight isn't a fan of blankets so I know he didn't ask for this. He was sweating alot. 

Heat off, blankets off.  Washed his poor face.  Fan on (no A/C--he doesn't like the cold air any longer).  He is still hot, but he isn't eating or drinking much so that could be the cause of that. 

Yesterday he had a great visit with Pastor Tim complete with a Boston cream donut.  They shared many things with each other. Prayed together. What a wonderful friendship they have.  I wanted to leave, felt like an intruder on something special, but Tim wanted me to stay. 

This morning he had a visit from a dear friend of ours, Donna Lewis.  Another dear friend, Pastor Fred called a few days ago. We have made some wonderful friends through the years.  I have received many messages on email and facebook.  Thanks friends, for being friends and praying. I can't put all the names here, but I have you in my heart and mind.

This afternoon Dwight is having some trouble breathing and difficulty conversing, mostly in two or three words.  Not all making sense.  But he still gives me that special  'I love you'  smile.  He still knows how make me feel so cherished.

Honey, I'm Home....Part 2

Many people told me my first part felt like more was to come.  It was, I had be composing part two in my head for a few days.  It was going to focus on my son, Sam and his adventure on the Appalachian Trail.  Hiking it end to end has been a dream of his for years.  One he never let go of.  This spring he arrived in Georgia and started north. I wanted to share the pride I have in him and his adventure.  I was going to add a link to his trail journal.

Then I got a phone call from him.  Shouldn't have.  He had his phone off to safe battery life.  And it was during time he should have been hiking.  But he wasn't.  "Mom, I need to come home.  I broke a bone in my foot. "  Raw emotion full of disappoint flew over the phone.  "Of course Son.  I love you.  I am so sorry."

Sam spent the weekend with us, visiting his sisters, nieces and nephews.  And his Dad.  We didn't know this would be the last visit before a new infection, complications and prayerful decisions would put Dwight on hospice care.

Dwight will soon be leaving us and adding his great voice to the heavenly choir.  He will joyfully meet His Lord and Savior.  I am sure his parents, brother, and grandparents will be called to the Pearly Gates to hear him say,

"I'm Home."

Honey, I'm Home

We have all said, or heard these words countless times, perhaps in many different addresses. This is true for Dwight and I. When we married, in 1972, Dwight was still in college, I had just received my A.A. and MRS. We were both working full time and were very involved at Church.

We found a very small duplex in Allentown, PA. It was cute and had a workable layout for two college kids in love. The downstairs was basically an open floor plan with an alley sized kitchen. I think I had a total of 2 feet of counter top and an apartment size stove. I painted the walls of that kitchen sunshine yellow and the ceiling fire engine red. I loved it, the landlord didn't.

We entertained many of our college friend couples there. Lots of laughs and fun. Not sure how (or where I did it),but alot of pizza, Texas sheet cake and other goodies where made and shared there.

But the other half of the duplex was empty, as was the garage next door. Our front door opened onto the alley. Our bedroom window looked straight back at the apartment building behind us. And we had to park on the street another alley away from us. Not the ideal walk when you (I) worked second shift and Dwight worked nights. Also there was no lawn--no place for all lawn. The only grass was what happened to grow in the cracks. I missed my grass. So we decided to move, "Honey, I'm home" to a new address.

We where very happy to find a nice, second floor apartment in Bethlehem PA. With lawn. And a small patch for a veggie garden. And a landlady that prayed for us to get 'the blessing'. Sam was born 11 months later and Karin 11 1/2 after him. Thirteen months later, when I found out Kristen was on the way I started packing.

God lead us to Leetonia OH where our three children attended school, made friends, helped us built our home and develop our acre of Shirey property. Lots of lawn, shade trees, fruit trees, and a nice garden.We were very blessed with wonderful friends and opportunities to serve our God. Lots of "I'm home." there.

After an auto accident that messed up Dwight's back, God called Dwight to Pastor a small Church in Warren OH. Another back injury and difficulty traveling led us to Columbus Oh and the expansion of our family with five terrific grandchildren. We are so happy to be able to see them often and watch them grow.

We moved to Columbus Valentines Day 2004. Valentines Day 2010 Dwight was in the hospital with kidney stones. And now, when he is back in his room at the nursing home after dialysis he calls my cell phone and says,

"Honey, I'm home."

Growing Old Together

I try not to allow myself to spend much time thinking about what has been lost to Dwight and I in the last nine and half years, especially the last two. We were settling in quite well to the empty nest and the new career of Pastoring when the injury placed him in the wheelchair. But we adjusted and were doing quite well, it even brought us to Columbus and the joy of seeing our Grandchildren often. It was easy at that point to not even consider the travel plans and other dreams that were gone.

We were still able to go out to eat occasionally. We took short sightseeing trips. Wish we had gone to the Zoo, Dwight would have enjoyed that so much.

Dwight was able to set up a very wheelchair handy wood shop. Several of the neighborhood men would stop in and visit, often most of his time in the shop was conversation time. All the men have told me how much they miss visiting my husband. Even the grouchy lady next door would visit. She was never grouchy with Dwight, even though he is a Steeler fan and she a Browns fan. (Poor Girl) And the grandchildren loved spending time with Papa in 'The Shop'. Isaac and Jackson had begun learning much from their grandfather. Each had their own tools and shop apron. The girls loved sweeping the sawdust around and couldn't wait until they could start 'hammering' with Papa. Those four still talk about Papa coming home and working in the Shop with them. Breaks my heart to know that at some point they will also be heartbroken.

As for growing old together, it maybe happening, but it isn't really. Last night was one those times when Dwight couldn't get his thoughts expressed as desired. He repeatedly told me how much he loves me, he had more to say but it wouldn't form into words for him. He did state many of the things he wishes we could do still....long walks in the country, snuggling on the sofa, sleeping in the same room and many others. I totally agree with him, there are days, times that it is hard to cope with. Your mind wants to scream, "It's not fair." And it's not by the world's standards, but we don't serve the world, we serve God and He has allowed this. We still have each other, our memories and our hope of healing in heaven. We can still hold hands and kiss good night. And talk to each other through out the day on the phone. It could be worse....